Category Archives: WHAT I’VE LEARNED FROM BEING A DOMINATRIX

WORLD’S BEST MISTRESS IS BACK!

I sincerely hope this finds you safe and healthy during these fucked up times.

“You can do it like it’s a great weight, or you can do it like it’s part of the dance.” – Ram Dass

As many of you know, at the start of the pandemic I shifted my focus from BDSM and fetishes to online grief and mental health coaching for those in transition. The experience proved to be a very good way by which to stay connected while being open to the drastic and radical shifts that were, and still are, occurring. I had no idea of the necessary and demanding position I would find myself in due to all the change. I’m thankful to have been able to give and receive.

I was lucky to be able to continue to work in some capacity by doing either phone or video sessions for individuals and couples. I found the interactions to be stimulating and fresh, they kept me on my toes, and kept my mind sharp. In fact, knowing the power I have just by using my voice is a huge turn on! You wouldn’t believe some of the things people have done for me. Conducting sessions virtually requires a very advanced ability to communicate and also the ability to “think in pictures.” You can thank my autism for the latter and my passion for the former.

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2020

Also, at the start of the pandemic I relocated to a new space. It was stressful to move during times like these, but things have finally settled down. I even have the dungeon set up for that special first day, whenever that will be. I thank all of you who assisted with the move in some capacity, even if it was just to check in on me.

One of the most challenging aspects of the last five months was the amount of death and loss I have experienced. There have been a total of five deaths so far, and three of them were people with whom I had significant and impactful histories. Needless to say, taking a break from all sessions to grieve was a choice I gladly made for my mental health. These times have reinforced my belief in appreciating the moments, the power of presence, and true connections. I’m thankful we have kept in touch.

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Now, some sense of normalcy has been restored for the time being. I am back in school, and I love it! I am holding sessions of all types, and have been enjoying working with couples in particular. It seems that many people have decided to spice up their sex life as a result of the pandemic, and that liberation brings me great joy. Of course, I wish I could physically go to class and play with others, but for now, this is an excellent option. I can’t imagine what we would do without the technology that did and does carry many of us through.

I have updated each page of my website to reflect the changes that have occurred, and my rates have been adjusted to remain fair and competitive within the industry! XOXOXOXO

DENVER DOMINATRIX POOL PARTY!

I had the most wonderful time with my slut today. We celebrated her birthday, and I dressed her up like my perfect little fuck doll. For her birthday I got her a few things, but the most important thing that I got her was a swimsuit because she had never had a pool party as her new self, Cici.

It fit!

Cici has been emerging over the past years in and out of our sessions. It is been quite an honor to watch the transformation of gender and sexuality with someone I now call a close friend.

I love making people feel special, but more than anything I love to help others express themselves. It touches a special place in my heart to help others liberate themselves and find freedom in whichever way they desire. Of course, liberation does not have to include gender play, but in this case it did.

I made sure everything was perfect by decorating the dungeon, having snacks, drinks, and of course, a cake.

The earlier part of the afternoon was spent in the pool before we transitioned into the cool red light of the dungeon. Cici has learned, overtime, how to be a good girl and how to please this Denver Dominatrix.

Let’s just say that I’m sure all of her birthday wishes – and mine – were answered. Thank you for the amazing day, Cici.

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Denver Dominatrix, ProDomme Denver, Denver Mistress, Femme Domme Denver

YOU CAN TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR SLAVE

Being a Dominatrix comes with great responsibility. Creating a sacred sexual space comes with ethical obligations.

Occasionally, like everyone, I have bad days. When I share this with others I am often told, “You can take it out on your slave.”

To put it simply, there is NO WAY that I – or anyone else – should ever take a bad day out on a slave – with one exception.

The exception is to obtain consent so that both parties are clear on the intention of play.

My background in psychotherapy and my knowledge of countertransference guide my ethical compass. I also am well-informed on emotional entanglement vs. healthy relationships.

Even if I mask what is going on, my slave/bottom/sub will feel it on an energetic level. To think of other providers who use others to meet their needs for emotional enmeshment or codependency is of great concern to me. In that situation, no one gets better.

I am not saying that I put my emotional needs to the side forever. If I am upset and have a booking, I simply reassure myself that I will revisit the issue once the session has finished. This helps me be present for myself and for my submissive while we play.

I am always available to consult with other providers to help them find ways to be most effective when holding space. If you are a slave and you are concerned about the way your Mistress takes things out on you, book a consult and we can discuss ways for you to navigate the situation. https://kinkencounters.com/online-bdsm-sessions-distance-dominance/

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAIN AND LOVE

My motivation to write an article on the dichotomous relationship between love and pain lies heavily on the most common complaint I hear from couples I coach outside of the BDSM world.  The most common complaint I hear is that most of my clients experience an inability to connect with friends, family, or lovers – sometimes even pets. It presents as an inability to connect, to be vulnerable, and to experience empathy. I’m not talking about superficial connection that revolves around pleasantries, and I’m not talking about not being able to do activities with others. What I’m talking about is the connection that is often called “intimacy,” the connection that makes us feel safe, can make us feel comfortable sharing our bodies with others, and the connection that is a result of feeling seen, heard, and respected in our experiences.  Continue reading THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAIN AND LOVE