Being a Dominatrix comes with great responsibility. Creating a sacred sexual space comes with ethical obligations.
Occasionally, like everyone, I have bad days. When I share this with others I am often told, “You can take it out on your slave.”
To put it simply, there is NO WAY that I – or anyone else – should ever take a bad day out on a slave – with one exception.
The exception is to obtain consent so that both parties are clear on the intention of play.
My background in psychotherapy and my knowledge of countertransference guide my ethical compass. I also am well-informed on emotional entanglement vs. healthy relationships.
Even if I mask what is going on, my slave/bottom/sub will feel it on an energetic level. To think of other providers who use others to meet their needs for emotional enmeshment or codependency is of great concern to me. In that situation, no one gets better.
I am not saying that I put my emotional needs to the side forever. If I am upset and have a booking, I simply reassure myself that I will revisit the issue once the session has finished. This helps me be present for myself and for my submissive while we play.
I am always available to consult with other providers to help them find ways to be most effective when holding space. If you are a slave and you are concerned about the way your Mistress takes things out on you, book a consult and we can discuss ways for you to navigate the situation. https://kinkencounters.com/online-bdsm-sessions-distance-dominance/