Category Archives: HOT FEMME DOMME USA

THE SPECTRUM OF BDSM AS THERAPY

First, it is important to understand that every session is approached differently. The level of therapeutic depth one can achieve is on a spectrum, with lighthearted fun and simple pleasure resting at one end, and the vastness of the shadow waiting at the other. There are no expectations of a session to be anything other than what arises. Unless we have discussed a desired destination, things will unfold in organic perfection.

Second, it is even more important to hire a professional who understands how to work with you on the spectrum of the psyche. The energetical states and psychological experiences will happen either way. Wouldn’t you want someone who can alchemically play with these states when they occur? I would suggest looking for someone who is proficient in this sort of somatic integration, who can also respect the benefit of play for play. Together, we will create space for real exploration – where everything is welcomed and nothing is pushed away…

He told me he’d been wanting to see me for years. However, it just wasn’t the right moment. Neither him nor I felt the urge to analyze the timing. Instead, we rested in the [un]certainty of our shared belief system: that everything happens when and how it should; That are no accidents.

Negotiation is the ethical foundation of the exchange of trust when we play. Sessions are about connection, intuition, and meaning-making by means of meeting someone where they are. He mentioned that he had seen a few other professional dominatrices in Denver before, but there was still something missing.

“It was about the method,” he said. “Too much so.”

That stood out to me. I’ve heard similar things from others—how technique can be fine, but if the energy isn’t right, if the giver isn’t fully present and “checking their own shit,” something will feel off and you might not even know why.

Laughter, Screams, and Tears: What Happens When You are Seen
It started with gleeful giggling. He was full of it. Drunk on dopamine and release through laughter. Yet, as we went deeper, something shifted. The laughter gave way to something raw. He screamed – not from pain, but from catharsis. Then, the tears came. They weren’t tears of sadness. They were something else.

There is a feeling that occurs when we are finally able to stand naked in front of someone without receiving criticism or judgement. That feeling comes about as a result of honoring our truth in front of a compassionate witness. It is a feeling unsurpassed by any other and stems from unconditional acceptance. It works as a tether to help us explore freedom in the face of the unknown.

Integrating This Work into His Healing
He saw the session as more than just an experience – it was a piece of something bigger. He talked about how he wanted to keep exploring this part of himself, not just for the physical release, but as a way to reconnect with the parts of himself he had long forgotten.

To Be Continued…

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAIN AND LOVE

My motivation to write an article on the dichotomous relationship between love and pain lies heavily on the most common complaint I hear from couples I coach outside of the BDSM world.  The most common complaint I hear is that most of my clients experience an inability to connect with friends, family, or lovers – sometimes even pets. It presents as an inability to connect, to be vulnerable, and to experience empathy. I’m not talking about superficial connection that revolves around pleasantries, and I’m not talking about not being able to do activities with others. What I’m talking about is the connection that is often called “intimacy,” the connection that makes us feel safe, can make us feel comfortable sharing our bodies with others, and the connection that is a result of feeling seen, heard, and respected in our experiences.  Continue reading THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAIN AND LOVE

DENVER DOMINATRIX POOL PARTY!

I had the most wonderful time with my slut today. We celebrated her birthday, and I dressed her up like my perfect little fuck doll. For her birthday I got her a few things, but the most important thing that I got her was a swimsuit because she had never had a pool party as her new self, Cici.

It fit!

Cici has been emerging over the past years in and out of our sessions. It is been quite an honor to watch the transformation of gender and sexuality with someone I now call a close friend.

I love making people feel special, but more than anything I love to help others express themselves. It touches a special place in my heart to help others liberate themselves and find freedom in whichever way they desire. Of course, liberation does not have to include gender play, but in this case it did.

I made sure everything was perfect by decorating the dungeon, having snacks, drinks, and of course, a cake.

The earlier part of the afternoon was spent in the pool before we transitioned into the cool red light of the dungeon. Cici has learned, overtime, how to be a good girl and how to please this Denver Dominatrix.

Let’s just say that I’m sure all of her birthday wishes – and mine – were answered. Thank you for the amazing day, Cici.

Denver Dominatrix, ProDomme Denver, Denver Mistress, Femme Domme Denver
Denver Dominatrix, ProDomme Denver, Denver Mistress, Femme Domme Denver

YOU CAN TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR SLAVE

Being a Dominatrix comes with great responsibility. Creating a sacred sexual space comes with ethical obligations.

Occasionally, like everyone, I have bad days. When I share this with others I am often told, “You can take it out on your slave.”

To put it simply, there is NO WAY that I – or anyone else – should ever take a bad day out on a slave – with one exception.

The exception is to obtain consent so that both parties are clear on the intention of play.

My background in psychotherapy and my knowledge of countertransference guide my ethical compass. I also am well-informed on emotional entanglement vs. healthy relationships.

Even if I mask what is going on, my slave/bottom/sub will feel it on an energetic level. To think of other providers who use others to meet their needs for emotional enmeshment or codependency is of great concern to me. In that situation, no one gets better.

I am not saying that I put my emotional needs to the side forever. If I am upset and have a booking, I simply reassure myself that I will revisit the issue once the session has finished. This helps me be present for myself and for my submissive while we play.

I am always available to consult with other providers to help them find ways to be most effective when holding space. If you are a slave and you are concerned about the way your Mistress takes things out on you, book a consult and we can discuss ways for you to navigate the situation. https://kinkencounters.com/online-bdsm-sessions-distance-dominance/

SEX & DESIRE – PART I

Today I am going to write about sex and desire and how it pertains to relationships, control, and self-esteem. Let me start by clarifying my definition of sex. To me, sex is: Continue reading SEX & DESIRE – PART I

THE GIFT OF SUBMISSION

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Submission is a gift. Submission is not something that Dommes are entitled to, and it is not something to be taken with force (unless of course there has been negotiation in regards to a role-play beforehand).

So, why is submission a gift? Continue reading THE GIFT OF SUBMISSION

THE SHUTTING DOWN OF BACKPAGE.COM

Continue reading THE SHUTTING DOWN OF BACKPAGE.COM

NEW YEAR POST

I went back and forth about whether or not to create a New Year post. I don’t really celebrate the New Year, simply because it doesn’t make sense Continue reading NEW YEAR POST

WINTER BREAK

Hello kinky people! It’s your favorite Dominatrix informing you of my winter break that will occur from December 21 through January 2. Continue reading WINTER BREAK

CHRISTMAS WISH NO. 2

Christmas wish!!! I have wanted a gold bar necklace for quite some time now. I love how delicately they lay on my neck, and since I’ve turned 30, I’ve started wearing gold instead of silver. It just matches my olive tone more accurately, I feel more like a lady in gold, and it is warm as opposed to the cold colored silver or steel look.

That being said, I’ve had my eye on the god bar necklace right here:

It’s also on sale!!!! Click the picture to be taken to the website.

Contact me for mailing information. xoxoxo

Merry XXXmas!!!!

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https://youtu.be/kIRC6bmchEc