Tag Archives: denver lgbtq

RIP DOMINA CARMEN MORIARTY

Screen Shot 2014-10-18 at 1.35.05 PMFellow fetishists and kinky people, it is with regret and sadness that I must announce the death of one of my colleagues and community members, Domina Carmen Moriarty, also known as “MaestroCarmen” on fetlife.com. Continue reading RIP DOMINA CARMEN MORIARTY

AN UNDERSTANDING OF THOSE AGAINST SEX WORK

I’ve been spending a lot of time, lately, critically thinking about what would make someone oppose the profession of sex work. Of course, this has stemmed from a personal encounter with someone who has expressed judgment and aversion in regards to me being a Professional Dominatrix. I don’t usually spend too much time on what other people think, but this person is a newly inherited family member, and so I feel an urge to understand things from her point of view. 

It is my naturally tendency to get curious about people who disprove of my actions, as oppose to get defensive or try to protect myself against some attack on my imaginary ego. Continue reading AN UNDERSTANDING OF THOSE AGAINST SEX WORK

THE ASSERTIVE WOMAN

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The topic of female assertion has been coming up a lot as of late. It would be safe to assume that I do identify as a strong, assertive woman. To some, my dominance – which stereotypically is a masculine trait – is extremely threatening and has provoked the use of labels such as bitchy, scary, or mean. I understand that it may throw a lot of people off when they see such a (mostly) feminine looking woman exhibiting such confidence or assertion, but those people aren’t usually the ones with whom I choose to spend my valuable time. Continue reading THE ASSERTIVE WOMAN

FISTING, A GUIDE FROM THE CRASH PAD

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First, let me start by explaining the primary reasons why I love THE CRASH PAD SERIES, BY PINK AND WHITE PRODUCTIONS:

“Based on the Award-Winning feminist queer porn The Crash Pad, Queer Filmaker Shine Louise Houston brings to the web authentic female and queer sexuality. Here you’ll find real dyke porn, lesbians, femme on femme, boi, stud, genderqueer and trans-masculine performers, transwomen, transmen, queer men and women engaging in authentic queer sexuality, whether it is with safer sex, strap-on sex, cocksucking, kink and bdsm,, gender play and fluidity, and always authentic orgasms.” –crashpadseries.com Continue reading FISTING, A GUIDE FROM THE CRASH PAD

MY SISTER IS A PRODOMME

MY SISTER IS A PRODOMME:

A STORY

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THE PROFESSION

Long shadows lie themselves against the cobblestone streets of Boulevard de Clichy. The smell of crepes and espresso fill the air after the sun has peeled itself from the earth and the stones have separated themselves from feet that walked them just the night before. Welcome to the Red-light District of Paris. Continue reading MY SISTER IS A PRODOMME

WHAT IS PROFESSIONAL BDSM?

What is Professional BDSM?

            Professional BDSM is a multi-faceted, ritualistic practice that occurs between consenting adults who wish to act out sexual or non-sexual fantasies that pertain specifically to the exchange of power and trust. BDSM sessions, also called scenes, can include physiological and psychological stimulation, role-play scenarios, costumes, make-believe, and objects that have certain meanings attached to them – otherwise known as fetish objects. All scenes involve a dominant and a submissive, also referred to as a top and a bottom, respectively, and usually involve two people, although scenes with multiple people can also occur. Professional scenes can last anywhere from one hour to multiples of hours or days and include negotiations beforehand to discuss boundaries, limits, safe words, and desires. Sessions should – but do not always – include aftercare. Aftercare is the intentional allotted time that occurs after the scene in order for the dominant to offer comfort, a space to process, and communication to the submissive. Many players consider aftercare to be the most important part of a scene. Most importantly, BDSM scenes are conducted in an environment in which players can allow any emotion to surface without feeling judged or shamed by the external constructs of mainstream society. 

            There are many different styles of BDSM. The type of play is dependent upon the emotional and physiological awareness of the dominant, his or her expertise, as well as the intentions set for the session – if any have been set at all. There are many practitioners who cater more to physical sensations in a session as opposed to psychological; there are practitioners who focus only on the psychological. My ideal style of play is a holistic approach that incorporates both physiological and psychological stimulation. For me, the exchange of trust and emotional intimacy are paramount. I prefer to use my sessions as safe spaces where people can build relationships, learn to express needs, explore their bodies and minds, learn about shame, and allow fears to exist without fighting, running, or freezing. Fighting, running, or freezing are also responses to trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and it is no mystery to practitioners in the community that BDSM can be used to help people work through PTSD. 

            Sensation play and sensory deprivation are huge components of BDSM. Some examples of tools that can be used for sensation play are crops, floggers, whips, clothespins, paddles, and neurological tools, such as the infamous Wartenburg wheel – a metal pinwheel with sharp points that spin on an axle, or the violet wand – a handheld device that administers static electricity to skin. Some examples of tools that are used for sensory deprivation are ropes, blindfolds, gags, earplugs, cages, and hoods. Sensation and sensory deprivation have functions in play, and either or both give the dominant more ability control what type of experience the submissive may have.