I received  message from a sub I was supposed to see:

Hi Domme Danielle. I bought the stockings, lipstick, and I shaved last night. I couldn’t sleep and I want to throw up from nervousness. I am not ready to turn this into reality. I apologize… Again, I’m sorry.

So, I would like to address facing your fears as a sub in the BDSM/Fetish lifestyle. First, know that I have firsthand experience with the anxiety of allowing someone else to take control.

That being said, you should always know that even in BDSM scenes, the sub is always the one in control. Actions are always consensual and safe.

My job as the professional is to give you the safe space where we can explore those boundaries in a play-like setting, and it is also my job to create the illusion that I own your ass!  Do I push your limits? Yes. Should you be scared? Yes. Do I convince you completely that you have no control? Yes. While in the scene, I allow my entire heart to be poured out.  It’s more than acting. It’s being.

There is a relationship between fear and arousal. Is fear the only tool I use? Absolutely not.

It upset me that this person cancelled, BUT  the predominant emotion I felt was sadness. What was I sad about? To know that in this fear-based society there was another human being that succumbed to his fears. Do I understand? Completely. Do I know that this person would have had an amazing, cathartic experience? Without a doubt.

Alas, I am a patient woman. I know I will be hearing from him soon. Helping others achieve emotional breakthrough is what I LIVE for.

Oh, and that’s why I require a deposit from you little bitches!