ORAL SEX

ORAL SEX WITH DOMME DANIELLE

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This entry is directed to the few uneducated people who want to give me oral sex. YES THIS INCLUDES ASS WORSHIP AKA ANAL LICKING.

Continue reading ORAL SEX

SEX WORK MOVIES

I’m often asked about my favorite sex work / sex movies.

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Here’s my list in alphabetical order. Keep checking back, and I’ll update the list as soon as I can remember more. Most of the movies are all documentaries, not intentionally but because documentaries are amazing. I particularly like “The Great Happiness Space” and “La Bare,” because they are about male sex workers: Continue reading SEX WORK MOVIES

GAYS, GOD, AND SEX WORK

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A response to a relative:

Thank you for your apology.

You know, I sat on our conversation for the entire evening, and read your email and sat on that for a while as well. I’m going to be completely honest with you. Our conversation did really upset me. Continue reading GAYS, GOD, AND SEX WORK

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

While there are many factors that play into successful life-commitments, here are three key factors that will help create a firm foundation in your relationship:

  • Learn to resolve conflict. One certainty to life is that there will always be conflict in one form or another. Perhaps the conflict will be with your life-partner, perhaps it will be something experienced on an individual basis. Whether conflict is experienced alone or with others, it is the ability to resolve the conflict that will either help or hinder the outcome of a relationship. Effective conflict resolution may come easy to some and may be difficult for others. The most important thing to remember when dealing with conflict is to stay calm and refrain from being emotionally reactive. While expression of emotion is a healthy part of being human, conflicts are more easily resolved and dealt with through calm and open communication. If calm and open communication is not possible at the time of conflict, sometimes it’s best to let the emotions run their course before attempting to resolve with your partner. Take a time-out, go for a walk, engage in breathing exercises, or simply cry alone in a safe place. Taking time to evaluate emotions before reacting them can prevent additional conflict, and suppressing negative emotions will only make the problem worse.
  • Accept change and release expectations. It has often been said that the only constant is change. Change, like conflict, is another part of life and of intimate relationships. Physiological and emotional changes are unavoidable truths. It is important to realize that your partner will not always look the way they did when you first met and also that basic cognitive functions may decrease and deteriorate with age. Flexibility in regards to change will strengthen the relationship and cause growth instead of deterioration. Releasing expectations in relationships can also enhance the ability to be flexible to change. Often times we expect our partners to think as we do, act as we do, and respond as we do. We often forget that we’re dealing with a separate being, one entirely different from ourselves, and that being has valid emotions, actions, and feelings that are worthy of being acknowledged. Your partner will change and so will you. Your feelings for each other will change and grow into something stronger or something weaker; being able to realize this is an important step in having an honest, adult relationship.
  • Learn to express needs and desires. One of the most important and helpful things you can do for your partner is to learn to express your needs and desires while being open to hearing theirs. Needs and desires – sexual, psychological, or physiological – change over time. There are many factors that may play into sexual arousal and maintenance of intimacy in relationships. Some of these factors include boredom, stress, perimenopause and menopause, and other hormonal changes attributed to aging (Cox, 2006). If communication flows freely within the relationship, it will be more likely that sexual needs and desires will be met and overall satisfaction will continue throughout the relationship. It is also important to realize that different people need different things in order to feel loved and cared for. While one person may simply need a hug to feel comforted, the other may have a desire to have a deep and meaningful conversation. There are numerous ways to show affection, care, compassion, comfort, and love. Learn what your partner needs by not being afraid to ask, and practice expressing your needs on a regular basis. Often times we expect our partners to know exactly what we want, but we must remember that neither person in the relationship has the ability to read the other person’s mind.

In sum, learning to resolve conflict, to accept change and release expectations, and communicating your needs and desires will help create a foundation in a relationship and will increase the chances of a lasting, life-commitment. Educate yourself on the art of communicating and expressing, realize that change is constant, and be flexible with yourself and your partner.

 

CAUTION, DO NOT REMOVE SCARS

There is nothing I hate more than pictures that have been touched-up. All the pics I have posted of myself are photoshop-free, and if anything they have only been lightened or have had minor color adjustments.

I received an email from the the photographer who did my most recent shoot. In it I found a couple of pics, obviously touched up, of me with the angel wings (like you see on my profile).

The thing I noticed first was that he removed the scar I have above my right ribcage. I immediately felt annoyed at the photographer, which I had already developed a distaste for due to his lack of professionalism and cocky attitude.
Yet, my annoyance grew into something larger. It grew into an abhorrence for american culture in general, for “perfection,” for manipulation, misrepresentation, and for the ideals placed on women to be “flawless.”

I love my scars. They are a part of me, my walk, and journey. Everything has a past. Me, I have a past with no regrets.

It’s almost as if we want to erase the fact that perceived “negative” things have happened to us… things that cause us pain…like scars. Heaven forbid we have unpleasant feelings like suffering, sadness, or anger!

Well, to that – and to that stupid photographer – I say, “Leave my SCARS, leave my UNEVEN BREASTS, leave MY WRINKLES, and leave ALL THE EVIDENCE that I have been here, on this earth as a human being!”

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FACING YOUR FEARS

I received  message from a sub I was supposed to see:

Hi Domme Danielle. I bought the stockings, lipstick, and I shaved last night. I couldn’t sleep and I want to throw up from nervousness. I am not ready to turn this into reality. I apologize… Again, I’m sorry.

So, I would like to address facing your fears as a sub in the BDSM/Fetish lifestyle. First, know that I have firsthand experience with the anxiety of allowing someone else to take control.

That being said, you should always know that even in BDSM scenes, the sub is always the one in control. Actions are always consensual and safe.

My job as the professional is to give you the safe space where we can explore those boundaries in a play-like setting, and it is also my job to create the illusion that I own your ass!  Do I push your limits? Yes. Should you be scared? Yes. Do I convince you completely that you have no control? Yes. While in the scene, I allow my entire heart to be poured out.  It’s more than acting. It’s being.

There is a relationship between fear and arousal. Is fear the only tool I use? Absolutely not.

It upset me that this person cancelled, BUT  the predominant emotion I felt was sadness. What was I sad about? To know that in this fear-based society there was another human being that succumbed to his fears. Do I understand? Completely. Do I know that this person would have had an amazing, cathartic experience? Without a doubt.

Alas, I am a patient woman. I know I will be hearing from him soon. Helping others achieve emotional breakthrough is what I LIVE for.

Oh, and that’s why I require a deposit from you little bitches!

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WHAT EVERY SUB SHOULD READ

I asked Krissy to do a write-up on what it means to be a slave. I feel that many people have a misconception about D/s relationships. Krissy is married and is also polyamorous. Krissy provides very good insight on D/s relationships. Here is what every sub should read:

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Mistress below is my writing on What it means to serve a Mistress. I have had the opportunity to serve many different Dominant women and a few Dominant men starting at the age of 15.  I am currently married to a Dominant woman and am also in a relationship as a slave to an incredible Mistress.  I have learned many things in my 20 years as a submissive and hundreds of hours of service.  One of the main things I have learned is that most submissives by nature are very selfish. By nature I am no exception to this. This last summer at Thunder in the Mountains Laura Antoniou, author of the Marketplace series, summed it well by saying that she thought it was crazy that Dominants collected submissives.  She said submissives should collect Dominants. She went on to explain that submissives are the neediest people on earth and they never get enough. So her rationale is that one Dominant could never keep up with many subs as one sub is usually too much for one dominant.The knowledge and recognition in me knowing that selfishness is a core characteristic in most submissives, including myself, has allowed me to approach my service of my Mistress with a self awareness that I have not always had.  It has helped me realize that I, like most submissives, am inherently focused on getting my needs met first and foremost.  It is this awareness that allows me to ensure that my actions of service are not driven only or even mostly by getting my needs met. I believe it is important that ANY D/s or M/s relationship is mutually beneficial.  If both sub and Domme are not getting their needs met then the relationship will eventually fail.  There has to be a balance that allows for both in the relationship to be fulfilled.  I believe there are a few key elements to any D/s relationship. 1. A mutual desire and compatibility 2.  Open and honest communication 3. Trust 4. Pleasure from service
Having a mutual desire and being compatible has to be there first.  If the sub wants to be beat and fucked with a strap on daily but the Domme doesn’t like strap on play and only enjoys beatings every once in awhile then the relationship will not likely work because one of the two will always be feeling like they are compromising themselves by giving more then they are willing to or not getting their own needs met. Open and honest communication is important because this is the basis for both the Domme and the sub to be able to express what they need and how they are feeling.  It is both compatibility and open and honest communication that helps you build trust.  As a submissive I have to trust, not demand, that my Mistress will give me the things I need if I submit fully and serve her needs. The last one is getting to a place where you truly gain pleasure from service.  This one took me a long time to get to but I truly feel it and understand it now.  Pleasure from service is when you do something that you personally may never have wanted to do or chosen to do but you do it because it pleases your Mistress.  However it isn’t just that you did it but that you actually derived pleasure from pleasing your Mistress.  That alone is the reward.So then knowing that submissives are generally selfish and focused on getting their needs met what does it really mean to actually serve a Mistress?  Is it serving Your Mistress dinner dressed in panties or naked, worshipping her body as you give her a massage, getting bent over paddled and then violated by your Mistress?  Although these can be forms of service, to me what it really means to actually serve is to put your Mistresses needs and desires before your own.  When you want to do all of the aforementioned tasks because it is so exciting to do so but instead you help your Mistress clean out and organize her closet because it is truly helpful for her and makes her day or week a bit easier that to me is true service.  It is getting pleasure from service but also putting trust in your Mistress that if you do those things your needs will also be met because that is what she wants as well (assuming compatible wants/desires).If you find that give a lot and get little in return (whether you are the Dominant or the submissive) then it is likely that you are not a good match for each other in an ongoing D/s relationship. For an ongoing D/s relationship (not just the occasional play) to be successful the submissive has to be willing to put his/her needs second when asked or appropriate.  There should not be a sense of entitlement that the sub is owed something by the Domme.  If your relationship is mutually beneficial, and you are compatible both in interests and desires then both the Domme and the sub will get their needs met.
If the foundation is there it is the role of the sub to truly submit to their Mistress and put their own desires second to that of their Mistress.

Continue reading WHAT EVERY SUB SHOULD READ

★ Denver BDSM Coach ★

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