I don’t know why it never dawned on me to write a post on the wonderful topic of subspace. I think I just assumed that everyone knew what subspace was, and I have been reminded again that it is important to think of things from the mind of a beginner.
So, what is subspace?
Subspace is a state a submissive enters when he/she has completely given up control and is completely open to receiving whatever it is the Dominant has to offer.
It is a complete exchange of trust. It is vulnerability. It can be pleasure, and it also can be pain. It is emotional and it is also physical. In my opinion, emotions are simply a manifestation of physiology in the first place, so subspace involves the body/mind. It is a reaction of neurotransmitters – the chemicals of the brain – that encourage our responses – both emotional and physical.
Subspace is a complete involvement in the present moment where nothing matters except what the Dominant is doing to the submissive or vise versa – such in acts of service or offering. It is a place where everything else disappears, the body experiences sensations more fully, and the mind is opened.
As a Professional Dominatrix, it is my job to bring my submissives to subspace, however, if the submissive has blocks or his/her defenses are too high, sometimes subspace is not attainable. One might argue that as the Dominant, it is my “job” to bring the submissive to subspace or that I should “force” him/her into subspace. Forcing a submissive into subspace – unless we are engaging in a consensual violent role-play – isn’t possible and often feels forced or fake. I never work much harder than anyone in the room. I cannot force someone to be open, yet often people find they naturally open around me simply because of how safe I am.
For the past ten years I have been studying the human body and how it responds to various stimuli received by all the senses in BDSM sessions. I am extremely skilled at bringing my submissives to subspace, and really all it involves is a complete involvement on my part and a complete willingness on the submissive’s part. I encourage my submissives to feel safe when they meet me and in session, and that always aids in the willingness of the submissive. Vulnerability cannot be forced, but when I create the space for it, it usually transpires.
Domme Danielle, Denver’s Dominatrix