It’s time for people to wake up and realize the reality of the sex industry. It’s no new news that prostitution has been around for thousands of years and is often referred to as the oldest profession in the world. I’m not here to argue that case. I’m here to shed light on the billion dollar industry that is sex work. The industry isn’t going to magically disappear just because it makes you cringe or you feel uncomfortable thinking about the supposed lewd actions of people engaging in sex for money.
I understand that while Professional Domination can hardly be compared to prostitution, it is still classified as sex work, and it’s no mystery that Professional Dominatrixes are discriminated against for being part of that industry. If you are a sex worker like myself who has been so bold to be honest about your chosen profession, I’m sure you’ve experienced the backlash of condemnation from friends, family, and strangers alike – no matter what avenue of sex work you’ve chosen. So, in support of you, my fellow sex workers – both male and female – I’m here to to speak in your defense in regards to the fact that it is not only your right to be able to choose what to with with your body, but it is also your right to be able to do your work without being shamed, put down, or ostracized. This is for the escort, the dancer, the phone sex operator, the webcam performer, the massage parlor worker, the porn star, the amateur exhibitionist, the pro-dommes, and even the sex worker who only resorts to turning tricks when he/she absolutely has to because the bills are due or the fridge is empty.
The reality is this: sex work is real. Sorry to break it to you, I mean I know it’s comfortable down there with your head in the sand, but right now as you read this there are thousands of people engaging in sexual acts in exchange for money, and the trade for sex in exchange for goods is not only limited to strangers – or sex for that matter. The truth is, we’re all selling something. While it may not be sex in every case, there is a definite exchange that occurs in nearly every interaction or relationship dynamic. Don’t tell me that the housewife who is granted the priviledge of staying home to raise her children isn’t trading something in exchange for that type of security. She is, we are, they do.
So why do we place such a large value on the exchange for sex in return for something else? Of course the answer lies in the puritanical foundations of our country:
“When the Puritans landed on the rocky east coast of America in the 1600s, they brought with them the belief that sex should be restricted to intercourse in marriage. All non-marital and non-reproductive sexual activities were forbidden, including pre- and extra-marital sex, homosexual sex, masturbation, and oral or anal sex (even if married). Violations of the rules were punished by fines, whipping [OH THE IRONY], public shaming (yes, with “scarlet letters”), ostracism, or even death.” – Before Love, Puritanical Beliefs about Sex and Marriage.
Alright, America, the year is 2014, and while a lot of things have changed in regards to how we view sexuality as whole, we still have a long way to go in regards to offering sex workers the respect and equal rights they deserve. It is no longer appropriate to maintain the limiting assumptions that sex workers are stupid, ignorant, uneducated, coerced, or are all victims of trauma or ptsd. I understand that the population of self-determined sex workers may be smaller than the population of those who have been forced into the sex trade, but there is a difference between sex work and sex trafficking, and those who choose to engage in the trade should not be punished or condemned by their friends, family, or society for choosing to do what they wish with their bodies.
America still has a long way to go in regards to how sex is represented in general. Fear and shame in regards to sex need to be replaced with openness and acceptance of the act that is necessary for our continued evolution, our pleasure, and our freedom and right to express ourselves. It’s time to stop representing sexuality as a method of marketing to sell crap via media outlets, and it’s time to start talking about sex for what it really is – which is subjective and completely different for everyone – and that is the diversity that should be celebrated.