I was perusing my old videos (I like to make a lot of movies…with consent of course) – and I stumbled across a clip that made me want to write a post on the art of role-playing. Continue reading THE ART OF ROLE-PLAYING – FREE VIDEO CLIP INCLUDED
I went back and forth about whether or not to create a New Year post. I don’t really celebrate the New Year, simply because it doesn’t make sense Continue reading NEW YEAR POST
Hello kinky people! It’s your favorite Dominatrix informing you of my winter break that will occur from December 21 through January 2. Continue reading WINTER BREAK
My motivation to write an article on the dichotomous relationship between love and pain lies heavily on the most common complaint I hear from couples I coach outside of the BDSM world. The most common complaint I hear is that most of my clients experience an inability to connect with friends, family, or lovers – sometimes even pets. It presents as an inability to connect, to be vulnerable, and to experience empathy. I’m not talking about superficial connection that revolves around pleasantries, and I’m not talking about not being able to do activities with others. What I’m talking about is the connection that is often called “intimacy,” the connection that makes us feel safe, can make us feel comfortable sharing our bodies with others, and the connection that is a result of feeling seen, heard, and respected in our experiences. Continue reading THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAIN AND LOVE
My birthday is in June and I am planning Continue reading DENVER DOMINATRIX BIRTHDAY WISH
I have found, over the past nine years, that fetishists and kinksters, people in D/s relationships, and submissives (and Dominants) can all have very specific kinks and desires. Sometimes, those desires are a little less typical…like cuddling.
In fact, sometimes when people make initial contact with me, they have a script of sorts – a tale of fantasy – that they have acted out alone numerous times before coming to a Professional Dominant like myself. Yet, sometimes, cuddling is kinky… Continue reading WHEN CUDDLING IS KINKY
I wonder if I’ll ever get used to the invisibility of being a sex worker.
So many times I find myself at social functions merely watching as my partner is asked question after question about her professional life. “So, what exactly do you do in your work,” they ask her. She answers. They say, Continue reading THE INVISIBLE SEX WORKER
Today is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.
I’m sure when you hear this, images of sex workers being raped, accosted by police, and pushed around by pimps enter your mind. I would like to hope that this day represents solidarity for sex workers who have experienced all of the violent encounters mentioned above.
On a deeper level, I would like to address the violence that occurs on a daily basis as a result from societal oppression, stigmatization, and silence around the topic of sex work as a whole.
Violence is also this:
- The failure to recognize and even omittance of sex workers as a marginalize community within popular culture, educational programs, and government agencies.
- Failure to recognize sex work as an actual occupation or condemning sex work as a whole simply because it is not socially acceptable or considered “normal.”
- Speaking in hushed tones around an “out” sex worker when talking about his or her work.
- Breaking friendships or cutting ties with sex workers because you are uncomfortable with his or her profession.
- Assuming that sex workers are sex workers because they have a history of trauma or abuse.
- Drawing conclusions about a sex worker’s sexuality or sex life solely based on his or her profession.
- Thinking that sex workers don’t deserve to be loved or be in committed or noncommitted relationships simply because they trade sex for objects of value.
- Adopting a code of silence around a sex worker’s occupation when he or she has made it clear that they are open to communicating.
- Failing to recognize the emotional capacity of sex workers – people who hold space for some of the most intimate of human expressions.
- Perpetuating the shame and invisibility of sex work by choosing to stay silent.