Category Archives: INTIMACY

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAIN AND LOVE

My motivation to write an article on the dichotomous relationship between love and pain lies heavily on the most common complaint I hear from couples I coach outside of the BDSM world.  The most common complaint I hear is that most of my clients experience an inability to connect with friends, family, or lovers – sometimes even pets. It presents as an inability to connect, to be vulnerable, and to experience empathy. I’m not talking about superficial connection that revolves around pleasantries, and I’m not talking about not being able to do activities with others. What I’m talking about is the connection that is often called “intimacy,” the connection that makes us feel safe, can make us feel comfortable sharing our bodies with others, and the connection that is a result of feeling seen, heard, and respected in our experiences.  Continue reading THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAIN AND LOVE

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WHEN CUDDLING IS KINKY

I have found, over the past nine years, that fetishists and kinksters, people in D/s relationships, and submissives (and Dominants) can all have very specific kinks and desires. Sometimes, those desires are a little less typical…like cuddling.

In fact, sometimes when people make initial contact with me, they have a script of sorts – a tale of fantasy – that they have acted out alone numerous times before coming to a Professional Dominant like myself. Yet, sometimes, cuddling is kinky… Continue reading WHEN CUDDLING IS KINKY

Spread the word. Be a fucking pioneer.